My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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