I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
