I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
