we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
