I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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