HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
