She said her name was "party"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
