so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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