Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize