You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize