What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
