Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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