before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
