he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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