I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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