You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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