Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
