Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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