I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize