you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
