whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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