is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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