is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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