i just had sex bonerless
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
