You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
