either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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