she looked like the before picture.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
