do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
