even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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