Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize