im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
