I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize