Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
