I must be too annoying 4 u.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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