i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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