chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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