He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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