we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
