WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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