Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
