beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
