if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
