I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
