I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can I color on your dick again?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize