yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize