The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
