My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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