My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize