508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
