We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
