Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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