Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
