I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
