Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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