What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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