Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
