he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
