ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
