i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize