Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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