gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize