Midget sex pt 2 tonight
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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