why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
