so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
