I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
