Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
