? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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