Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
