We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
