I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
