I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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