Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
