the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
