I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
