i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
