I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
