Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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