Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
