"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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